[my collection of thoughts that occur while watching the world’s trashiest tv show.]
So, I am obsessed with the Bachelor. Like, hardcore obsessed. Like, 72% of me still kind of thinks I’m going to meet my husband through the show. I’m almost thirty (Bachelor expiration age) and have never auditioned. But yeah, I’m still convinced.
And, since I don’t have a Twitter and can’t live tweet my emotions while watching, I’ve decided blogging my collection of thoughts is the next best thing.
So, here we go.
Episode 2.
Preface: first, let me start off with my personal disclaimer. I believe we could solve the franchise’s biggest problem -lasting relationships- if we stopped giving men in their late 30’s a selection of hot, 22 year old girls to pick from. Yes, I said girls. Because at 22 you are a fucking infant with miles to grow and no need for marriage. So, get the fuck outta here and let the rest of us, whose biological clocks are actually ticking, have a fair shot at capturing the attention of these ABC casted commitment-phobes. Because we all know a man, who is approaching 40 and still single, clearly doesn’t have the best picking skills. He’s obviously going to yearn for the fresh-faced 22 year old with ovaries full of vibrant eggs and legs not yet tainted by cellulite. Not the thirty-something who hasn’t had a carb in months, owns every fit of Spanx, and relies heavily on Botox to ensure her makeup still goes on smoothly. But, what do I know?
Okay. Now you know where I stand. Lets continue.
Per usual, there were a lot of unoriginal, “what the fuck” thoughts running through my head during this episode. Like, who showers a girl with thousands of dollars worth of dresses, shoes, and jewelry on a first date? Who are you? Christian Gray? (Or is it Grey? I don’t know. I’ve never actually read any of the books or seen any of the movies, I’m just assuming this is an appropriate comparison.) And, I don’t care who the guy is, but if Rachel Zoe shows up on a date, chances are I’m going home with her, not the dude. And forcing a girl to see your hometown while meeting your family on a first date? No, bro. I’m out. That’s passed the point of too fast. That’s just straight up insane.
But the one moment from this week’s episode that did it for me (and I’m talking in a positive way, for once) was when single-mom, Chelsea, (I think? Don’t worry, I’ll know names by episode 6) cuts off Arie mid group date introduction to pull him aside, claiming she needed to get to him first because telling him about her kid was more important than anything else any of the other 45 women had to say. And then some beautiful brunette (who I’ll probably never learn her name, because I’m assuming she’ll be gone before next episode) says something along the lines of, “I respect that you’re a mother, but you can’t say being a mother means what you’re giving up to be here is any more important than what any of us are giving up to be here. We’ve all made sacrifices.”
SO. MUCH. YES.
As a single, childless woman, I related to this so hard. In the past, I’ve been forced to work holidays over co-workers because “I don’t have a family of my own”. My personal life and personal time have been minimized over and over again because what I have going on just doesn’t compare to what mothers have going on. Umm, no. It’s your choice to be a mother. Just as it is my choice not to be one. That doesn’t make either of us any more important than the other. So, kudos to un-named girl for making this point out loud and on national tv. To me, you are the real MVP this episode.
I’m going to be honest, I didn’t even make it to the rose ceremony this week. But that’s okay. I think I’ve reached my maximum on thoughts for this episode.
Until next week…
with love and butter (and the Bachelor),
bree
buttered and blonde 